Sshhhhh!

I have this huge need to create.  Great talk about that by Dieter Uchtdorf.  My schedule now allows no completely alone time...except for sleep...and sleep is VERY important to this lady.  The problem with this is I like to be alone for hours when I create.  Um, not gonna happen, so I try my best to breathe deeply, realize it may not be my best work but it beats doing nothing, and I play away as the cat lays on my work, kids crawl on me and the table and pull all my stuff out, and take lots of breaks to make meals, work, help with homework, do carpools, etc.  Not ideal but doable when I desperately must create.  When I think about creating this way, I cringe sometimes, but on the days I just bite the bullet and do it, I feel very happy and fulfilled, as imperfect as the whole process is.

My current project is kind of big as I am making Daphne a quiet book...actually not to be used while she is quiet but just to teach her skills and occupy her hands, hand which demand to be doing something always, and I would prefer that something to be direct and productive.

Here it is so far.  I went with a jeans cover out of nowhere...maybe resourcefulness?  It buttons shut, plus has handles to carry it by.

 Had to do a ladybug page with magnetic spots.

Nod to my love of gardening and orchard hopes with carrots and apples to "harvest."  Then with all that produce she can bake a pie and weave a lattice pie crust.

And I loved the idea of putting together a teddy bear.  My children assure me it does not look to macabre when the teddy is missing his arms and legs.

 And the back of the cover has mittens to slip your hands into.

Remember how I said I have no time to work on this project alone?  It's true, not even late at night because I work every night late except Saturday night (by which time I am exhausted, brain dead, and really only good for cuddles and a movie) and Sunday night, which I like to dedicate to relaxing, studying and mentally preparing for the week.  So the kids, including Daphne (I can't even do it during her nap time because, alas, I work then, too.  ACK!), are watching the whole process.  I try to not let Daphne play with it so most of it will be a surprise...hopefully????...but Shawn and Ben have certainly dug in and played with the finished parts and seem to really like it.  Daddy DID let Daphne put her mitts in the mittens, and she thought that was hilarious.  I am hoping it is still a fun surprise, maybe made sweeter by the fact that she wanted to touch it so bad all of this time, and finally, on Christmas (or her birthday if all heck breaks loose), she will have sweet victory at last.

I read somewhere that it is important to make sure your kids see you doing things you enjoy and not just the work, work, work of running the household, so I hope even though it is a me thing, and occasionally I shove the cat off my sewing or desperately squeal, "Don't touch that!" that it is doing them some good, knowing that you can do what is important and matters most, that you can be really, really busy with the essentials of life, but you can still do what makes your heart sing, too, even if it isn't up to snuff, and it is squished and shoved into little bits and pieces of the days and weeks and months of life.

I am so excited.  I already have pieced together a horse page with a tail and mane to bread and 2 flower pages to lace a bee through flowers #1-10.  Desperately hoping those are sewn by Saturday but the forecast says meh.