Monday, December 31, 2018

12/31/2018

It was a great year for going back to school, seeing kids grow too fast and doing amazing things I never dreamed they were capable of, having some rejuvenating family time/trips, and fully realizing that marriage is a team sport.  It's been a year where I've done new things and comfortable old things, too.
It was a bad year for hair cuts (for me at least), perfectly excellent health for our family, and free time.

I feel like I've had some great personal growth in 2018.  I've re-thought a lot my dead-end thinking.  I'm trying to change a lot of self-talk that has not done me much good.  I'm trying to be kinder to myself but also need to push myself harder in some ways (like being a better cleaning queen).  I feel ready for 2019.  

1.  I want to really take charge of our family budget this year.  

2.  I want to get more comfortable with the idea of legitimately being a teacher.  It's like a dream/hope/maybe feels like my destiny thing right now, and as I take more classes it will be time to really test myself and realize I can stretch and do all the hard things I was too afraid to do or try 20 years ago.  I think it will be terrifying but also exhilarating and not at all impossible, despite my negative thoughts about myself.  I am full of potential and I am not over-the-hill, out-of-touch or, by any means, done.


3.  I want to fully re-connect with family that I've distanced myself from.  It is easy to feel hurt.  It is easy to be full of regret because things will never be how you imagined them or hoped they would be.  BUT it's a serious waste of time to bury your head in the sand and not face reality with love and hope, forgiveness and understanding.  So that is most definitely happening this year.

4.  I want to take care of myself completely spiritually this year.  That will involve meditation, yoga, positive talk, more scripture study than I've ever done before, lots of long walks, going to the temple to commune with my Heavenly Father and Savior, and seeing prayer for the sweet communion and lifeline it is instead of a to-do item or something to reach for most desperately when feeling desperate (although that's totally a great time to pray as well).

5.  I want to be healthier.  My health is not a number on the scale or a pant size.  I am running (maybe lots of walking, right Ja? a half marathon mid year).  I am trying to not use sugar as a coping mechanism.  And I am going to embrace more fruits and vegetables.  But I think so much of my health will depend upon #4 above and just how I treat myself and, more importantly, how I serve and love others.  

6.  I want to love more like Christ.  I want to love my husband better, my children better, my other family, my neighbors, strangers, fellow earthlings.  I want to care and contribute and pray for and send all the good vibes because a person's a person no matter how small (or large or black or white or differently-abled or differently-attracted), so I want a bigger heart, really, a changed heart this year.  

With those ideas in mind, hmm, and unexpectedly this comes out of nowhere, I think 2019's word is HEART!!!

Thursday, December 20, 2018

Nicholes Family Countdown to 2019

Hello to all our family, friends, and future selves!  2018 has been a whopper of a year, so in order to not write a complete novella, I'm limiting myself to a countdown list--but I am verbose so if you plan on finishing this here countdown, get comfortable and enjoy the meandering but scenic ride.
10--Number of seasons of Friends that Lucas set out to watch this year.  Mission accomplished.  He pushed through even when he got mad at some of the characters and felt glad he did so by the end.  Lucas has kept busy (a little too busy [author gets to insert opinions YESSSS!]) with work as a DBA.  Being on-call every few weeks can lead to way too many hours working and way too few hours sleeping, but sometimes it's not so bad.  Lucas has been serving in the Elders' Quorum Presidency for our ward.  He got bummed when some church-wide changes were made in April which meant he'd be released, but then he got called into the new presidency as well.  They've enjoyed working together as they all do what they need to do so a lot of good things get accomplished.  For example, Lucas was in charge of creating a Three-Wise Men Room for a live Nativity.  Many gray hairs were acquired as he worried about the event overall and his specific duties, but he did a fabulous job.  Another proud accomplishment of the year, I'd say, is Lucas got Matthew completely hooked on the author Brandon Sanderson, and Lily too.  Plus, Lucas gets awesome husband bonus points for sitting on really hard cathedral benches while listening to the full Messiah with me a few weeks ago-bucket list item!!!

9--Age Ben was for most of 2018.  He's a live-wire, that one.  He thrives on adding physical humor to any situation.  If Lily lays a hand on him, he's suddenly on the floor writhing in agony, even if she barely touched him--maybe it's actually some kind of defense mechanism?  This school year has been Ben's first in the Gifted and Talented program (he tends to desperately want to be like Matt, so he was quite happy to get asked to test and make it in).  Ben's the kind of kid where as parents we ask ourselves what is this kid going to end up like, but then his teachers say things like I can't wait to see what he grows up to do.  He'll be able to do anything he wants.  The jury is still out, but he makes me laugh EVERY SINGLE DAY, so I'll take it.  Ben's obsession with endangered species such as red pandas and pangolins continues.  He also likes to think up introductory theme music for the Ben the Hen bedtime stories I tell him.  Thankfully, fictional Ben is the real troublemaker.  Compared to him, real-life Ben is an angel.
Ben pushing Grandma Allene around her care center.  Now that is trust.  He only crashed into a few things, and no one was harmed, physically.


8--Number of classes Lily has had her first semester of high school.  The year started off rather dramatically (read: 15 year old girl with big emotions), but she hit her stride so quickly...in surprising ways.  Lily has ended up loving her Japanese class (which originally nearly brought about Armageddon when she got it instead of ASL).  She has thoroughly embraced various aspects of Japanese culture and is picking up the language well too.  She is starting to save up so she can go on the school trip to Japan in a couple of years.  Lily also ended up joining FFA (for you city folk, that's Future Farmers' of America).  We did not see that one coming but maybe it's just in her blood.  She has a knack for dairy cow judging and took first place in Creed Speak, thus being able to move on to the next level of competition in January.  Yep, she kind of blows our minds every now and then.  Still waiting on driver's ed, but she will definitely take on that adventure in the coming year.  The only real downer in Lily's life is that she has stopped growing.  Her goal of 6 feet was never reached, but she walks proudly at 5'11" or so; all will be well, until a brother grows taller than her.



7--Apparently 7th grade is when a lot of boys just decide English and Literature are boring.  I did not know this until Matthew's parent-teacher conferences in October, but there was so much corroboration that they must be right.  His Intro to Engineering teacher said he will make a perfect engineer, despite finding one of MY favorite subjects to be beneath him.  I guess part of the shock is I thought people who love reading passionately love English--not so.  I am humbled.  But he is zealous for reading and has as insatiable an appetite for books as he has developed for food as his body gets ready to spurt.  He just turned *gasp* 13, so we have 2 teenagers under our roof now.  Matt still takes piano lessons and is learning organ (as well as Lily).  I am asked if he is always so happy and polite and kind and spiritual and friendly by various people, and he really is.  Sure, he spaces out important things sometimes, but the house hasn't burned down yet, so we'll keep him.  (Yes, we would still keep him if he burnt our house to the ground-hormones happen.)





Did someone say free books?













6--Days of the week when we just don't get to slow down and take it easy as a family.  There is so much go, go, go that my energy went, went, went long ago.  And this is with me being quite protective of our children's time.  We don't sign up for hardly anything really, but still life is just a little too full, at least fuller than I would like.  Enter, the Sabbath.  Sunday used to be a day I dreaded.  I felt like I couldn't do this, couldn't do that.  Now I live for it.  We get time together as a family.  We get to be recharged.  We focus on the Savior and trying to live our lives a little better.  And we can laugh and joke around and just, breathe.  You know?  We just get to breathe on Sundays.  And I love that.







Some Sabbath goodness right on my bed.  See!












5--Number of staples Shawn (age 7) had to have after splitting his scalp open on a cabinet door while trying to get a cup for his sister right when we were about to sing him "Happy Birthday".  He's a tough kid because about an hour later he was smiling and enjoying cake.  It was kind of a busy urgent care year for Shawn, but every child has their chance, I guess.  Shawn is in 2nd grade, and his teacher describes him as a good solid student all around.  I'll take it because, to date, my boys still let their school lives be an absolute mystery to me.  Shawn got to ride his first train this summer when we were visiting family in Ely, the Ghost Train to be exact.  Our whole family loved it, but Shawn was the only one who got his picture taken with the conductor.  Shawn has loved being in his Primary (church) class this year, not because he is the only boy with a bunch of adorable girls, but because his teacher is so patient and loving, and she is an origami-making machine.  We have a lot of origami in our home now, let me tell you, and Shawn is not keen on me throwing any of it away!  Shawn still struggles to find his place in the sibling dynamics around here, but he is rather easygoing despite being a bit sensitive, and he gets along with pretty much anyone, so I think he'll be okay.  I just hope he doesn't add to his bodily scars anytime soon.  No more attempts at flying or jumping around sharp edges, okay Little Buddy.


4--Days per week that 4-year-old Daphne goes to preschool.  She found it a bit exhausting the first few weeks but loved it since day 1.  She's still a mama's girl, but sometimes now she has the desire to push boundaries or guilt-trip me more than she desires cuddles.  Daphne worked hard this summer and became the youngest Nicholes to learn to ride a bike.  Indeed, practice DOES make perfect is not just a clever saying.  Ben and Shawn joined us in the endeavor so we are now a bike-riding family.  I'm pretty proud of that.  Daphne is a complete fashionista; I have no idea where it came from as I am no glamour girl, but she changes outfits several times a day, color coordinates and asks to wear tinted lip gloss.  She also loves to wear her Great-Grandma Drew's clip-on earrings to church on Sunday with a necklace that, naturally, coordinates appropriately with her outfit.  The school year has not been kind to Daphne's immune system, with stomach bugs and colds galore, but I'm hoping what doesn't kill her makes her stronger because she is such a beautiful and precious #5 to Lucas and me.


3--The number of credits I took in my first semester back at school.  I learned a lot in the last few months.  Not just about using technology in education, but about myself.  It has been grand, well, not for my housework but for me.  Not only did I take a class, but I ended up applying for conditional admittance into my program (1 more prerequisite and I won't be conditional anymore).  That involved an interview, an essay and letters of recommendations-all terrifying things for me, but I did it.  I also conquered my PRAXIS math test which I had let loom over me for 8 months.  When I just buckled down and set a date, studied consistently, and prayed, it all worked out in the end.  I've felt like this semester was just one foothill to climb, followed by another and then a mountain, and I soon realized, that will be all of my education and future career if I continue down this path.  I am currently signed up for 3 (sort of feeling like I might be crazy) classes for next semester, and if I can get over this stupid flu then maybe I can be in the right state of mind to finalize my plans.  I think between having a job I have not loved (see that understatement there) for several years and not having much external validation (I mean have you ever lived with 5 tougher food critics than I cook for?), I forgot that Marianne still has game, if you will.  I am capable of whatever I want to be capable of, and it feels good that I had the grit to prove that to myself this semester.  Go Team Marianne!  Lastly, I had been serving in Activity Days for church, but just barely (barely) have been asked to serve as Young Women's secretary.  Lily is over the moon about it.






A little bit of Greenbelt flooding as I went on one of my many happy-place walks last spring.













2--Number of small children besides Daphne that our cat Piper has made cry.  She's on the psychopathic side (even for a cat), but she's sweet as can be if you are taller than 5 feet.  Piper continues to haunt our sweet Golden retriever, Enzo, both in his dreams and waking hours, and we are never quite sure what to do about that.  We encourage Enzo to chase her with us, maybe do a little pouncing, but he is terrified.  His 75-pound frame shivers with fear sometimes, causing him to jump on our bed or our laps when she enters the room, 10 pounds of seething rabid-raccoon rage (it's a long story).  Again, she's sweet as can be given the right circumstances.  If you have any suggestions, let us know (and no, Dad, a bullet is not an option).  Pluto, Lily's black cat, continues to be friends with Enzo and Piper, although both cats are doing a number on the presents under the tree this holiday season.  They just can't wait until Christmas Day.

1--Number of full-fledged family vacations we took this year, and I hope we get to have many, many more before they all fly out of the nest.  We went to the Oregon Coast, and, though things didn't go quite as the itinerary outlined, it was wonderful in every way, despite Ben having a little gastrointestinal Vesuvius action (if you know what I mean) for one of the days we were there.  It was a perfect vacation, our first time trying a home rental as well.  We had couple time, lots of family time, and Matt polished off 3 large bread bowls of clam chowder while there.  We also were able to celebrate Lucas's birthday and have some friends who live in Portland take the time to come visit us in Rockaway Beach!  I could go on and on, but I won't.  On the way home, we visited Silver Falls State Park, amazing, but I must do some physical conditioning with this bunch before I drag them on a long hike again.  That can be next summer's project.

That wraps up the countdown.  Good job if you made it.  I think it's safe to say one of our fondest wishes is for each person who reads this to have a wonderful 2019, full of faith and love and learning.  It's amazing how each life we come into contact with can affect us for good, and we have certainly been blessed by many wonderful people.  There were certainly some ugly parts of this year (I'm not gonna lie), but I will only disclose those via private collect phone calls, so DM me if interested.  

Love to each of you,
The Nicholes


Bonus picture of Grandma and Grandpa who made a long potentially wild car ride up to deliver presents last weekend and play games with the kids.  That is dedication!