A Birthday and a Good Week...mostly (because I have to cover all the bases)

Well, well, well.  I have been trying to be more on top of the essential "dailies" that I have had such a desire to do since I was 15 and yet have always struggled...since I was 15.  Morning exercise, prayer (real prayer, talking to The Man Upstairs, not just thinking a thought as my mind wanders and I go to sleep), reading from the scriptures and applying them TO ME.  Really, it is the ONLY (and I mean THE ONLY) time of day that I can have to myself because after 7-7:30 am the party begins and doesn't end until 11 pm when I finish and drop into bed.  But oh how I love sleep and my bed and my pillow and my blanket and the cool early morning breeze blowing through my window, and when he isn't sleeping so hot it feels like a nuclear plant resides next to me I enjoy spooning my husband.  Waking up is hard for this lady, but this week I got a little better at the above.  

I realized I don't need to get up and torture myself.  A beautiful walk will do, is something I can look forward to, and is definitely better than doing nothing because running or strength training sounds too horrid when I lay arguing with myself at 6:15 am.  

I also realized that praying out loud (but still in private) makes me think about what I'm saying, and I know God cares about the minutiae of my life.  Thank goodness.  Because there is a lot of it.

And this time reading through my Book of Mormon, I am taking a new approach and just focusing on anything that stands out to me in regard to my greatest struggle right now.  What the exact stories or dates or context is doesn't mean anything to me, just how do these words apply to me, how can I get stronger and wiser from what I am reading, and the most interesting things have been popping up.

Still, I laugh because yesterday I was feeling a little frustrating about my greatest challenge and thinking, hey, I am making this extra effort and nada.  Hello?

But today, I realized it has been a great week.  It has been really, really fun.  I am impressed I can work 40 hours, work all the mama hours, bug my husband a little about doting on me, have a million cares and still have a really good time.  I hadn't really noticed this about myself, but I really thrive on play.  Being an adult, and married, and having 5 kids, and money stretching and all that stinking life balance stuff is stressful.  I do it.  I am good at a lot of it.  I freak out about a lot of it.  But let me hike and wonder and explore and swing as high into the air as I can so that my tummy flips (the kid kind of swinging, people!), and I am a happy, fulfilled lady. 

 This week I have danced in the kitchen with my husband and some kiddos.  I have "explored" on an early morning walk and loved it so much I dragged my kiddos on the same 3 miler the next day.  Haha.  That was fun...actually it really was.  On the way back, I DID have to carry Shawn and then Ben and then Shawn and then Ben, but we made it and I liked the whole thing.  The whining bothered me not one wit.  We celebrated a birthday, a half birthday dinner with just Ben, Dad and Mom.  I created, meaning sewing and mod-podging.  Lots of parks, lots of playing, me included.  And visiting with people, friend-type people (but not too much, I am an introvert, but a little visiting never killed me).  I had so many years where I was waiting (like the Dr. Suess book, Oh the Places You Will Go).  I thought when we have enough money...when Lucas is done with this or that...when the kids are older...when I have more time...   And with that kind of logic, you get to do nothing.  So with the means I have and without stress about what I don't have and can't do, I am really enjoying the FUN aspects of life.  Playing with kids, livening up the mundane parts, teasing (nicely), and laughing, especially at Lucas.  Ah, it is good for him to be doing silly things more often.  He even gets little Daphne belly laughing with me too.  Shawn, Daph and I think he is pretty much the funniest person ever.  Tonight, he was playing a drunken Laban after we read our scriptures.  You really had to be there to appreciate it, but we certainly did.

I finished all of the reading nook I made for mi bambinos and bambinas that I can do without Lucas's help.  Now we wait. 

We took kids swimming to the Y on Monday for FHE and then I took them again to a neighbor's pool today.  This is Ninja Crazy Swim Hair Ben.

 We cleaned up all our messes.  There are so many.

 We celebrated a very excited 4 year old's birthday.  Grandma, he loves his game (and it's quick enough we can play it often-bonus).  He also has driven Super Grover and Cookie Monster on every surface in the house for 2 days.

 Time out buddies.  I crack up because one of my fav pics of Baby Matt and Lily is when Lily was crying in time out and Baby Matt came over and started crying with her.  In this case, when Daphne went to comfort Shawn, he cheered up, so you can't see how sad he was and her comforting him, but it works.

Good times, here.  I don't think much of the crappy stuff in life has changed, but I am making good things happen and trying to lighten up and not take so much personal and just enjoy THIS TIME, WITH THESE AWESOME PEOPLE that I get to be with every day.  Now if I can get rid of my sweet tooth, I could probably conquer the world!

Anniversary Mayhem - 14 Years

Happily ever after is all relative, right?  Lucas and I had celebrated Saturday night because it is my only night off besides the Sabbath, but still, I am all about celebrating on the exact date of an event (OCD?), so we at least were planning on going out to lunch Monday.  That morning, the kids were wired.  I don't know why.  Lily was  okay.  Matt was really okay, but Ben and Shawn were wrestling and crazy and wouldn't leave each other alone.  Ben hurt Lily playing too rough.  The boys were at it again, and then Ben started wailing.  Lily was shushing him (never a good sign), and Shawn skulked guilty to his room (as he always does when he has played too rough).  Lily blamed Shawn, and Ben was too, um, waily?, to talk.  He flopped onto the floor and started army crawling around like his legs had been chopped off and he would never walk again, all while wailing at the top of his lungs.  It was VERY dramatic and obviously impossible for him to be injured that badly.  I made him stand up (with only foot because he was pretty sure the other one would never work again), and come to find out Lily had BEEN the culprit.  Subconsciously, she seeks revenge, no matter how pure her intentions are.  It was crazy enough, I'm pretty sure that is why Daphne could be found like this for a good half an hour.  She blockaded herself in on the fireplace with empty kitty littler boxes Lily had just brought upstairs.  If any of the kids went near her or tried to touch the boxes, she screamed.  She just sucked on the bottle as her eyes surveyed the landscape, back and forth, back and forth.  What a scene!  I could get her to smile, so I know she wasn't truly traumatized, but whenever one of those CRAZY siblings tried to interact with her...forget about it.

Throwing caution to the wind, I made appropriate threats and still determined to go out to lunch.  It was our anniversary.  Come on!  And, of course, they were all very good while I was gone.  They like to do the really nutso stuff while I'm there to see it, I guess.

Oh Deary, Me.

So I took a blogcation.  I will be quite awhile (maybe never) until I can take a good old 2-week, sit on my duff vacation, so apparently a blogcation was the next best thing???  Apparently.  I would not even attempt to try to recapture 5 months of our life.  Nope.

I will say, looking back through my phone pics, I didn't realize I was getting so good and living life with reckless joyful abandon.  It's funny how I can feel so stressed about certain things, but my ultimate goal of having a more fun/happy marriage and being really focused on my kids when I am with my kids and traveling a bit more (anywhere) but still in a way we can afford is actually factually happening.  I really had no idea...stupid stress, but I have photo documentation.

There has been a Kindergarten graduation, a 5th grade graduation.  Sewing projects, art/craft projects, home beautification for super cheap projects, hiking (YES!!!!), walks, parks, swimming, dates, start gazing, lying in the grass watching the clouds (and some synchronized flying seagulls), squirt gun fights, Las Vegas, Monticello, McCall, Ely.  Wow.  So. much. more.  I am just kind of flabbergasted.  As I texted to my husband this morning, I am challenged and sometimes feel inadequate for my calling (low self esteem, still working on it, my prob and no one else's fault); the house is kind of just basic maintenance status at this point, nothing spectacular; and work is crazy (do I want to work full time? - I probably will continue to, but scheduling everything in that I feel is truly important will be a bit of a joke) BUT, BUT, BUT, I feel like I have been there for my kids and that we have had a lot of great times and that a lot of teaching and training has gone on...but probably never enough potty training.

 Moon rise/sunset hike

 Behold, Grandma Allene and Daphne finally meet when Daphne is 15 months old.  Better late than never and really hit it off.

 We like nice weather...

 and go to the different parks a lot...and the library...and splash pads.

 Volleyball camp.

 Brothers cooperating can build something great!

Bear advancement.

Ben graduates.  I was so worried for Kindergarten, and though we have miles to go for his speech, he is smart as a whip and has a great attitude about everything...mostly.

Lily is so moving on.  I can't believe she'll be in middle school, but as she is at least 5'7", it is for the best.

 Swim lessons for all 2 boys.  Matt can save his own life, but I think we still have many more years of lessons...which I don't mind.  They are a summer staple which I do enjoy.

 Upper Bogus Basin Loop.  I couldn't believe he agreed to do this with me...on a day that was 103 in the valley...on a Saturday night...with a girl who had only done it once and had to be the guide.  Elk Meadows was amazing!

 Our Fourth in Ely was da bomb!!!

 The parade...

 The candy...

 The Fireworks and Family.  It was fast but SUPER GOOD.

 Park/Splash Pad.  Daph runs into the water and right back out squealing, again and again.

 Lucas's work party was the zoo with ice cream and popcorn and carousel rides, etc.  It was the funnest work party ever.

 And how funny life is because in the below picture Daphne is fussing and wants the glasses off but Lil and I laughed and laughed because she looked so happy.

So why did I decide to end my blogcation.  I don't know, except that apparently a certain grandma keeps checking back and back, and I have to tell her about Shawn's bedtime prayer last night...and then also record a few funny things about the kids that I wrote down literally years ago.

I have been a bit neglectful in reminding kids to say their bedtime prayers.  Our Heavenly Father loves us.  He wants to hear from us, the good, the bad, the ugly, and so I try to remind them, but, as I said, I have been not doing so hot as I work during bedtimes a lot of the time, but last night, I had Shawn to myself, and it was quiet and I remembered.  I told him that he didn't need my help, and he could whatever he wanted, but Heavenly Father did want to hear what he wanted to say, what he cared about.  Without any talking about what to say, this is what I heard, to the best of my recollection and in his sweet little imperfect speech voice, and I have to say the Spirit of God was thick in that room as my sweet little 4-year-old talked to his Father:

"Thankful for Grandma Laura and that we could visit her in Las Vegas.  Thankful for going to the park with her.  Thankful for Idaho.  Thankful for living in Boise.  Thankful we could make art and play with squirt guns.  Thankful for Enzo...he died (Shawn explained after the prayer that the died part was part of a silly story???  Weird).  Thankful for Pluto.  He's a funny cat.  Thankful for food.  Thankful we could see fireworks and Grandma Laura and Uncle Jon and Aunt Sam.  Thankful we have grandmas who love us and we love them.  Thankful for Daphne and Mom and Dad."

I know I left out some parts, but wow, it was a neat moment in time.  Up to this point, I have always, always helped him with his prayers because that is what he asked for, but I wanted it to come from him, not me, and he delivered!

Now, on to old awesome memories.  These are from, I kid you not, when Lily was probably 5-6 and Matt 2-3.

Lily:  When I would say funny phrases, metaphors, Lily would say, "Mom, that's just an espression (expression)".
       
          Those boys at school won't stop chasing me and fighting over me.

          I need a little excitement in my life.  (I swear she came out of the womb and thought that every minute since, nonstop.  None of us are as high energy and ready to go, go, go as Ms. Lil).

          I think a boy has fallen in love with me.

          From now on, I am going to call you Mom J, okay? (because she has 2 people with the same first name in her class, so the teacher calls them Erin B and Aaron M.

Matthew to Lucas who is in the bathroom:  Daddy, it's me, Lucas (in a deep voice, trying to sound like his manly dad).

Man, I haven't written down all of Ben, Shawn and soon to be Daphne's silly stuff, although I do get a kick (and sometimes irritation) out of Ben referring to himself in the 3rd person often.  We are working on that.

Ok, I am going to set a goal...maybe once a week again...we will see.  But meanwhile, life is good, life is full, life is hard, but hopefully not always in that order.