47 Weeks

Why, oh, why?  Daphne is growing up fast, which in some ways will be a big relief.  She is like the ultimate workout, only not just for my body - but my mind and heart and virtues.  She stretches me to my max in patience, sleep deprivation, and with that high-pitched squeal that even a mother isn't too fond of.  So I can see her being a little older being somewhat less aggravating and exhausting for me.  But so many moments shoot by so fast that I know I will miss all the sweetness.  This first year blogumentation (see how I combined blog and documentation) is my attempt to capture as much as I can, even with a pretty demanding day to day to-do list, so that I can remember.  Yet, I know I will forget so much, and that makes me a little sad.  Thankfully, as I try to explain to myself and a little to Lucas, Daphne is making sure we EXPERIENCE parenting.  None of this ridiculously easy baby stuff.  I will KNOW nights with little sleep.  I will KNOW what it means to have a little body just need to be right next to you, snuggled as close as humanly possible against your shoulder just to feel secure about this strange world when she is sick or tried.  I will KNOW rocking a baby to sleep every single night.  I will KNOW holding that perfectly formed to fit onto my hips and in my arms little body snuggled next to me as I do all manner of 2-handed tasks with 1-hand every.single.day, every.single.hour.  I will KNOW what it means to hear the start of a scared or demanding cry and run to pick up baby before the volcano erupts.  I will KNOW that free time, that thing that used to happen when I had kids who took 2 hour naps) is optional in this parenting gig, not mandatory.  I will KNOW what sweet little clinging hangs grasping my skirt or pants, making sure I now she's there, telling me she needs to be lifted up, up, up feels like.  I will KNOW what 2 little fists gripping tighly to my shirt to make sure no one takes her away feels like.  I will KNOW what it looks like to have those baby hands reaching, willing themselves to be lifted into your arms with all their might.  I will KNOW the sweet tickles mixed with occasional yanks as she uses my hair to calm herself as she goes to sleep.  Because of Daphne, I will KNOW and I will REMEMBER.  So as much as that little pocket of occasional fury and constant demands makes me feel drained at times, she is well worth every second of it, and I know (oh so many wise women have told me) that this is just a blinks-worth of life.  I will choose not to wallow in the lows of this time, but I can rejoice and learn to laugh at each moment for what it's worth.

 Some blurry pics because that's what happens when you put 2 high-energy girls in front of a camera.

 Above:  I will never, ever get over cute baby legs standing, just all of it, too cute.

Below:  She hardly looks like a baby in this pic.  What in the world?