Friends

It has been a wonderful blessing to be in our new neighborhood in lots of ways.  One of them is this network of friends (I think I can call them that) that I've developed.  I've met several ladies from church, all different ages, whom I can depend on.  There are plenty of safe places in the neighborhood for my kids to be.  There are so many women who have offered help in all sorts of forms, more help than I can even use...at least for now...and I love it.  Visiting Teaching has been a huge blessing because my partner and the ladies we visit allow for real conversation about real life and it's good to be able to laugh, mourn (just a little) and feel comfortable discussing most anything together.

Then, just our neighbors are great.  Hubs and I challenged ourselves to actually go and visit neighbors this past holiday season.  I know, should be no big deal, but though we are quiet neighbors, we are also shy neighbors, so it was a big deal.  We were able to visit 2 neighbors and actually went in, sat down and learned about them and told them about us.  On Christmas Eve, I took Judy M and Quiet Man with me to drop off a goody plate to a lady who had dropped off one to us last year while we were gone.  We had the nicest visit with her and her husband.  They were good awesome people.  Many of the people in our neighborhood are empty nesters and many are retired.  They are a great bunch of people, so friendly, respectful, and understanding.

I am a quiet person around new people.  I feel socially awkward sometimes most always.  Could be being country raised, could be the very chatty mom, could be just my genetic makeup or some long ago trauma, but I am no butterfly.  So having so many friendly, fun, understanding, kind, engaging, and dependable people around makes me feel very happy.  I hope I can be as good of a neighbor and friend as these people have been to me.

Random...I am Good at This

Weird day...mostly okay but some weird.  The weird started this afternoon and it involves Judy Moody being really, really MOODY.  Not sure where it's coming from, hoping it is some fluke, maybe a side effect of some rhinovirus strain.  Basically, I've learned that I can't successfully logically reason with my 10 year old, at least not when I'm tired.

I watched some Studio C today while doing KP duty.  Season 2 is so FUNNY.  I love humor, mostly just the clean variety, so it is amazing to have a whole show of it.

I am huge.  I laugh because in public or at church people say oh wow you haven't gained anywhere but your belly, but the scale and I have some seriously dirty secrets, and I know my bum and thighs and face did not start out these sizes.  Oh well, if some nice hearted people think I look slim with that lovely large baby bump only, I should just go with it.

I feel like a parenting fail this week.  It's hard.  Why do moms have so much guilt?  My husband never seems to feel guilty about parenting or husband matters.  I am wrapped in guilt about my wifeness and mothering most days.  I put up a fair fight trying to do my best, so it's not like I feel horrible and weighed down all the time, but it's always there inside of me.  My kids are smart.  They often seem happy, but IDK if they are resilient.  The older ones (maybe all of them) are really over sensitive.  Now I always assumed that's my bad because I am a fairly sensitive person, was more so growing up, but I held it in a lot and just worked through it on my own.  Not so for them.  I just hope it's normal, for them.  I really do try to provide fun, spend time with them, but I definitely use tech babysitting to shower or prepare dinner.  I lock myself in the bathroom sometimes, even as they breathe at the door.  Heck, even the dog follows me to the bathroom and waits outside.  And hopefully, and maybe, right now not only am I feeling a bit more high strung because our family is soon to change.  Maybe they are feeling that way too.  Every time I've had a child I've managed to still make everyone feel loved, included, and secure, so why would they even worry or question?  Is it instinctual.  Deep breath.  I will not ever know.  Well, I better work and worry while I work instead of just worry.  Hopefully some happy will come into tomorrow because tonight I feel bleh and bad, like I've done something wrong but am just really trying to do my best at all the things I'm supposed to be doing.

Quiet Man's Hyper

So very, very hyper.  He had a great birthday though.  His cute star birthday crown from preschool has his name on it, so no pic of that to protect the identify of the innocent.  He bounced off walls and had fun all day (only a little fighting with Hulk who couldn't understand why the fuss over his frenemy).

As I was trying to capture photos of the crazy bouncing wonder, he started posing.  Here is one of my favs, though a bit blurry.  He was so excited he blew out his candles halfway through the birthday song.  I have seriously never had a kid so excited for his birthday.

 And here we have his cake...via Dad's skills.  It is Hotdog from Skylanders for all those who haven't been introduced to the popular, fun, though moneysucking enterprise.

I am VERY happy to have my not so quiet anymore but sometimes hard to understand boy in my life.  This morning right after he woke up and sat him in my lap and had to tell him his birth story.  That was always my favorite thing about my birthday...mom reciting the events of my entrance into the world.  I remember when Quiet arrived I was SO WORRIED because he was 7 pounds and looked so different from my more cherubic newborns.  My midwife said my placenta was small too, which can mean something or nothing.  Seven pounds is ittle bittle in my family.  I remember looking into his eyes and thinking I don't care if there is anything wrong with you or not.  You are perfect to me and I will love you and take care of you forever and ever.  Turns out, as far as I can tell, he is a perfectly intelligent and regular kid who has a heck of a time with his language.  I think Hubby and I have worried and prayed more about this than any of other parenting challenges we've had so far.  But as I felt 5 years ago, I feel now, no matter what happens or how quickly his speech does or doesn't come along, I will love him and teach him the best I can and protect him and try to get all the things for him that he needs to succeed.  My dream is for him to have a "normal" life in the next few years.  I thought he would surely be doing well by kindergarten, and now I don't know.  He has no problems having a good attitude and working hard and playing well with others and soaking up all the learning he can.  He just launches into fast almost gibberish sounding sentences sometimes and then I wonder what is going on.

BUT, BUT, BUT he has the bluest eyes, gives the sweetest cuddles and is so good to his mom.  He is patient with me, rubs my tummy and loves his soon to be sister.  He actually looks forward to our calm before the storm Friday mornings when he is home from preschool and he, Hulk and I cuddle and watch a movie.  He styles and brushes (ouch!) my hair.  He spent a long time rearranging and "cleaning" my room and making my bed yesterday.  He gladly takes care of Enzo when I ask him.  I could go on and on.  He is very service oriented and VERY, VERY devoted to his mom.  I am so glad that God gave him to us.  His spirit is so sweet.  I know he feels loved and secure in this family and that he is where he needs to be!  Happy Birthday, little 5-year-old guy.

Pack Meeting One

Dragon completed his Bobcat Trail and who knew you got a mom pin each time you rank in Scouts?  Again, I am amazed how much Dragon likes Scouts.  I'm still not all "into it" like the cool parents, but I will get there...if he keeps loving it and Quiet Man and Hulk do too.  The leaders seem awesome.

My belly is big, and I felt awkward in case you couldn't tell.  A good night despite a sleep deprived Hulk and a bonkers because his bday is tomorrow Quiet Man.

Monday, Not Manic

In my unintentional attempt to use the word NOT in post titles (day 3)...

My "little" bambino is apparently around 7 pounds now.  I am desperately fearful of a 9 pounder by the time all is said and done, but, hey, Hulk was 8 11 and Judy 8 9.  What's a few more ounces?  Wait, lemon-watermelon, never mind, bad idea.  It's just that feels big or at least lanky, and of all the absurd things, at her 20-week ultrasound (20 weeks-when they are all basically the same size), the rad tech was exclaiming over her long femurs.  Everything else measured to size but she had incredibly long femurs.  IDK.  You just never know what's going to come out until it comes out.  She will either be my beautiful, long femured babe, or another 6 foot girl in the making like Judy.  I'll take her and love her with every part of my being regardless.

AND the reason it wasn't a manic Monday beside hearing precious heartbeats and head down and GBS negative?  We recovered every public and school library book that was due this morning...and that was with waking up the kids only 30 minutes before liftoff.  It was poetic.

Why 30 minutes before liftoff?  My Body is T-I-R-E-D.  It can sleep lots, in between the middle of the night romps, and in the morning, it doesn't want to wake up, so I get up around 8 and then have a few minutes' peace and then boom, we are rushing around and shooting out the door.  It's not the glamorous lifestyle (read-lovely, organized, peaceful, slow paced) that I dream of, but I am in survival mode for the next few weeks or months...or years (ok, it won't be that bad), so we just count the getting where everyone needs to go on time as a blessing.  Forget about the sometimes wonky hair.  God still loves us all!!!

Not Beethoven

It's been 13 months since Judy Moody started piano lessons.  I think it's a very useful (and valued) skill.  Judy has a love/hate relationship with piano.  I'm not the type of parent who's going to force and fight her through years of lessons.  I hope though.  I do remind her many days about practice but don't force her.  Some weeks I let her be, and she is unable to pass off her songs for the week.  She's played at several recitals, and we've had so e very proud moments and less proud ones.  Her current passion is The Sleeping Beauty Waltz, which coincidentally I love.

A Not So Quiet Day

....would be every day at our house, but today was particularly lively as we had friends here to celebrate Quiet's upcoming bday.  He was VERY PLEASED to finally have a friend party, and his dad was VERY PLEASED to go a little loco at Zurchers to make for a fun party.

1)Leftover pizza after a very good day. 2) with friends during the madness.  3) hulk, very attached to balloons.  He has carried them every where, collecting more and more all day, and pleaded for their rescue when they get stuck.  In fact, Hulk is currently sleeping w/ 5 of them in his room.