Long-Term Subbing, Dog Training and Life

 

 

We have 5 weeks of school left.  I have been subbing since March 1st in Mrs. Nuuvali's 3rd grade class.  It has been really hard sometimes but also the most fun way to spend 8 hours of my day and make money.  I feel like I am in my element, and I hope that this feeling continues into real contracted teaching.  I have learned that teaching and working with children can be a lot like dog training.  No, I don't mean that in a degrading way, but Ripley has been having some intense training that has made a huge difference in her behavior.  She has had so many less problems with submissive peeing and tearing up Daphne's toys, growling at strangers and being aggressive.  And it's because she knows we are in charge, we will keep her safe and we have high expectations.  You have to apply distance pressure and eye contact to show Ripley (and students) that you know exactly what is going on and they need to stay in line.  There is more, and maybe I sound crazy, but it's true.  My class makes me laugh, they make me aggravated to no end, and I love them so, so, so much.  I am so excited to finally be a teacher.

But there is even more excitement.  At the beginning of April, I interviewed and was hired by David E Normal Elementary in Ely, NV.  Lucas and I were definitely going back and forth, back and forth about if we should move, where we should move, and we think we are supposed to move to Ely, or at least that Heavenly Father is telling us it is a growth opportunity, if not a necessity, to move there.  We will live in Lucas's mom's house, and it is definitely downsizing and there is currently no lawn, and our whole lifestyle will sort of change.  I'm excited, and incredibly sad, and scared, and worried.  We have only known Boise as a family.  Fell in love, had all our babies, finished college (twice for me).  So much has happened here.  The good, the bad, but we have grown so much, and it is a beautiful place.  There are a bunch of reasons that it makes sense to stay but also some good reasons to move.  Surprising that we choose Ely, but in some ways, like a job, being closer to most of our family, and financially, it makes sense.  It will be hard though, and this move is heartbreaking at times.  I still think maybe we won't move.  Maybe Heavenly Father will pull the plug on this plan, and that would be okay.  And definitely, this could be the worst thing I've ever done to someone else because Lily is going into her senior year.  I think she can have some great experiences in Ely, but she is taking it hard...and I blame her exactly 0%.  This is being done on faith and prayer and hope, and, as a parent, and an adult and a wife, it's pretty scary.  I don't know the consequences for any of us, positive or negative.  Faith and hope.  Practice faith and hope.

We will be leaving this....so green and tree-ful and lovely in the spring (but also with a quickly growing population, traffic, and a slightly crazy state government)...

and moving to the below house.  Yes, it is a different color now.  Lucas's mom had it fixed up completely (minus the lawn) years ago, and we have lots of good memories here.  But it is the deep, deep high desert.  I wanted space.  I wanted a slower pace.  It could very well be happening.  I just don't know what to make of it all, so I will leave it at that for now.

I GRADUATED!!!

 Despite probably the weirdest student teaching semester thanks to COVID-19, I made it through and my diploma is supposed to be ordered next week, and I can apply for certification once my official transcript is here too.  I was/am so happy to be done.  I am substituting for the spring.  I need to get Lucas to help me with my resume.  I have a long-term sub job March through June (67 days!) which will kind of be like student teaching minus a full-time mentor teacher.  And I am trying to wrap my mind around getting prepared for interviews and then doing them, without fainting or freaking out.  I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, but I need to give off some kind of 'she knows what she's doing' vibe when I interview.  Sigh.  Scary stuff, but Heavenly Father has gotten me through one thing and over another hurdle and through several storms, so I know He will help me get through this.  Below is a picture of me my last day of the semester, subbing as a librarian and dressed as an elf.

The last 9 months-what can I say?  A billion memes have been made.  We hand a pandemic, protests and riots related to racial injustices, an IMO horrible President making his last year the worst, a very strange election and then right wing extremists storming our nation's capitol, egged on by the sore loser, Donald Trump, who is supposed to be protecting our country, not endangering it.  And have I been able to go to the temple during all of this?  No!  Only for rare exceptions and new ordinances have people been going to temples.  How much we took for granted before this time.  I'm out of practice for normal church, normal school, normal anything, really.

My brain is a little dead right now, not going to lie, as I think after 9 months of no diseases, I am getting a cold.  But I did a really really hard thing.  Lucas helped me do that really really hard thing.  Even though now I spend more time away from home during wake hours than at home (except for weekends, school breaks and summer), this adventure (haha, um, idk if I'd call it an adventure) has reinforced without a doubt that my family is what I love more than anything else.  They are my reason and my motivation.  I can't wait to see them every morning and every evening and every weekend.  I don't know why, but Heavenly Father let my husband and children part of life come so easily to me.  Now the keeping it all together and taking good care of everyone and never giving up and having confidence in myself and figuring out what I wanted and needed to do-that wasn't easy.  Life has most definitely been hard, but as Lucas said in one of our home sacrament meetings recently, LIFE WAS NOT BUILT FOR COMFORT.  It's taken me a long time to realize that, but I think I'm starting to get it now.  And last September I turned 40.  Can you believe it?  In some ways I can and in some ways I think no way.

I am so thankful for my family, my husband, my Father in Heaven, my Savior, a living prophet, Christ's church restored through Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon, temples, and all of God's amazing creations and the ways He has inspired man.

Wish me luck subbing and becoming a real employed teacher.  We have big financial goals, but it means I need to sub until I'm hired and then work hard after that.  I want to be a great teacher.  I want my students to enjoy my class.  My internship, subbing and student teaching make me feel like it is going to be a huge challenge because that's not how real life in the field schools work for the most part.  I also want to keep my contract hours, working very hard, and then not bring a bunch of work home and feel guilty about not working constantly.  Another huge challenge, but I feel like Heavenly Father will support me in this because family first.  It may take a few messy years to get it all working, but I know what my goals are in a broad sense.  Here I come, teaching!!!

Intern in Mrs. Steiner's 5th Grade Class at Mary Mc

 

I wrote the title to this blog last March, not realizing I would never be back with those students.  I didn't take pictures with them, and I was only with them for 9 weeks.  It was such a good experience even though I was so terrified and had to slowly grow into it.  Dusti Steiner helped me so much and gave me lots of chances to do my thing and then correct what she'd have done differently or what I could do to make it better.  I'm at a loss for much else to say, but did want to mark those few months in time.